[MUSIC PLAYING]
[INAUDIBLE] What I want to say here
is that people have been saying I deserve hella cool shit,
but I haven't got any of that.
You know that feeling?
Because I do.
And it gets me mad and hurts me each and every time
I get reminded of.
It it's just so unfit to be part of me.
Know what I'm saying?
Like [? Gayle, ?] I'm fucking underrated.
I've got to keep stepping up.
It's like the sky turned red in the morning,
and it's just recurring.
Tired of being patient, I guess.
Have I been down?
Oh, yes.
I guess this is way too slow.
I don't want that, bro.
I just want answers now, because none of this makes sense.
It's all a mess that I've been trying to clean up for years,
but it keeps getting problematic.
And why is it so automatic?
Is it just me, or the entire universe against me?
I'm stuck between two sides, got to turn the tides.
I've waited 10 years, but do I got to wait 10 more?
These are the answers I need.
I know there's no context, but I'm planting the seeds
so I can see what's next.
A few years ago, I thought I'd had it all, to whole lot,
yet here we are.
Even though I came pretty far, ain't much changed in the years
since I started.
Same hood, same money, and the same kind of family,
but my shit is so high quality.
I want hella money now.
I want [INAUDIBLE] love now.
I want clear proof now.
I want answers now.
I want to reveal it all now.
I want forbidden knowledge now.
I want free shit now.
Do you see now?
Sick of being the odd one out.
I bet you know what that's about.
There must be something wrong with me,
because I don't think I can do what they did now.
It's probably going to take me longer to allow,
and the reason is it's complicated, because part of me
is saying it ain't my turn this year, and part of me
is saying I've got to go and get my body wet.
What I did back then was cringey.
A piece of my life is stingy.
But I'm working to make it increase, despite the shoving,
like elbow grease.
I'm like the tales of other people's son.
I guess you could say that's kind of automatic.
How can I choose to join one option?
Are you fucking serious?
That's my reaction.
And I deal with this let down.
It gets passed around.
I want hella money now.
I want [INAUDIBLE] love now.
I want clear proof now.
I want answers now.
I want to reveal it all now.
I want forbidden knowledge now.
I want free shit now.
Do you see now?
It's all the pain rolled up into a ball.
Stuck in my feelings, deep into a [INAUDIBLE]..
Those bitches are so hot.
Why don't they approach me?
Am I something they're not?
No, seriously, because I got what they want.
And no, it ain't money, it's confidence, charm,
and my masculinity, as well as my ability
to communicate effectively.
I ain't giving nobody up now, because I need
all the support I can get now.
I don't want to own the [INAUDIBLE] part.
Even though I fall apart, I somehow pull myself together.
It's repeated cycle, like patterns of weather.
In a way, I'm OK with being swayed,
because if I wasn't, then I wouldn't
have much to put into my music.
I'm being realistic.
Now, it's not as fun as the past,
where the excitement was never short,
and I never had to retort.
Now it's just the same old stuff.
But I can't afford to be totally carefree.
I want hella money now.
I want [INAUDIBLE] love now.
I want clear proof now.
I want answers now.
I want to reveal it all now.
I want forbidden knowledge now.
I want free shit now.
Do you see now?
That's why I want to go back, because that's never been cool
with me.
I keep doing what I know is right and what I fuck with,
but it doesn't amount to shit.
And I'm just waiting for the day that it finally pays off.
I'm doing the right thing to feel like I took off.
But is it really what I should do?
Because it's gotten me damn near nowhere,
and I can't help but care.
I know that what I'm looking for is
going to happen when it's supposed to,
but there are things about me that
sort of reduce that possibility, even though I
know I'm relationship-worthy.