[ Music ]
>> Kris: There is something in the airwaves.
Above the clouds and below the smog,
full of entertainment yet free of charge.
Soaring clear from Chaffey College in sunny Cucamonga,
California to you, it's the Golden Age of Radio.
>> Ethan: We are pleased to bring you another night
of big laughs, big bands, and big scares
that you'll never find on a small screen.
This is radio.
Brought to you by the Jell-O family of desserts.
[ Music ]
>> J-E-L-L-O.
Jello. J-E-L-L-O.
Jello.
>> J-E-L-L-O.
Jello.
[ Music ]
>> Kris: I'm one of your hosts, Kris Kash.
And to my right I have -
>> Ethan: Hey that's not right.
>> Kris: Not right.
So to my left -
>> Ethan: That's right.
>> Kris: I thought you said that was my left.
>> Ethan: You're right.
>> Kris: So you're on my right.
>> Ethan: Wrong again.
>> Kris: What's the big idea here?
>> Ethan: No idea here pal, just get it right.
>> Kris: I apologize for the confusion folks.
You see we have two hosts.
One of which being myself.
>> Ethan: Right.
Now who's left?
>> Kris: You are knucklehead.
>> Ethan: That's right.
>> Kris: But you said you were left.
>> Ethan: You're right.
>> Kris: So you concede that you are on my right?
>> Ethan: Utterly incorrect.
>> Kris: I'm just about to flip my wig here Mister.
>> Ethan: In the interest of our listeners precious time,
perhaps we should move on with the broadcast, wouldn't you say?
>> Kris: Absolutely.
Man alive -
>> Ethan: I am your co-host Ethan El Bard,
and to my right is Kris Kash.
See how that works?
>> Kris: I have no words left.
>> Ethan: Oh you'll be alright.
>> Kris: Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have a special performance for you
by Lucille Ball and Richard Denning.
Here to perform the uproarious new episode
of My Favorite Husband.
>> Ethan: Then tune your ears to the musical milieu
of Pat Aranda and his big band.
As well as a number by Frank Sinatra.
>> Audience: Oh Frankie.
[ Audience Fainting ]
>> Kris: The left will return in the form of vaudeville
and be scared away with another fright filled entry
of The Inner Sanctum.
[ Spooky organ music ]
>> Ethan: Well Kris nothing scarier than a bad hair day.
And I could see you know that better than anyone.
So cure your case of limp locks, keep listening to hear a word
from our sponsor, Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding.
[ Music ]
[ Spraying ]
>> What's all the fuss dear?
>> Oh my hair is just positively villainous.
Oily and brittle, frizzy and wild.
It just won't obey no matter, no how.
>> You poor thing.
Haven't you heard of Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding?
>> Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding?
>> Why of course dear.
Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding keeps your hair
to snuff, just a dab here
and there will keep your hair up in the air.
>> That's exactly what I need.
But is it safe?
>> Safe as could be.
Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding is not only the
strongest hairspray on the market,
but the one that utilizes ingredients found
in your favorite laundry detergents and fabric softeners.
So if you think your blouse is safe and soft to wear all day,
just imagine how healthy and silky your hair can be
when you use Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding.
>> But will it work with my favorite hair style?
>> Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding will discipline any
do and trim you can imagine.
So don't let your victory roll surrender and don't stand
for frizz on your fringe.
Use the only hairspray with a laundry list of chemicals
to make you look pompodorable every hour of the day.
>> Such a gamine product sounds mighty expensive.
>> Not at all babe.
Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding is an affordable
choice for the gals who want a salon quality experience
at home.
Ladies part your hair, don't part with your money.
>> Well golly, I'm sold!
>> Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding is available
in stores everywhere.
Available in the pleasing scent of lavender
and the cleaning power of sodium laurel ether sulfate
and non phenyl ethescolate.
Hairy Carrie's Spray-On Scaffolding.
Your hair will die for it.
[ Spraying ]
[ Music ]
>> Kris: And now it's time
for My Favorite Husband starring Lucille Ball and Richard Denning
as Liz and George Cooper.
Two people that live together and like it.
>> Ethan: As we look in on the Cooper's it's Wednesday evening
and they're getting ready to go out to dinner
with Mr. Atterbury and his wife, Iris.
As usual George is dressed on time.
And is going in to see how Liz is doing.
[ Music ]
>> Liz: Let's see that green dress Katie.
>> Katie: Yes ma'am.
>> George: Oh Liz, you're still in your slip?
>> Liz: George, I just discovered something terrible.
I haven't -
>> George: Thing to wear?
You know Liz, I'm getting a little tired of that song.
Why does it cost me so much,
each month to keep you in nothing?
[ Laughter ]
>> Katie: Mrs. Cooper, now is the time.
>> Liz: Not yet Katie.
>> George: Why can't you ever be ready on time?
>> Liz: And how long have the Atterbury's been waiting?
>> George: Well, they're not here yet.
Unfortunately, Mr. Atterbury is also married to a woman.
[ Laughter ]
>> Katie: Well it's time now, isn't it Mrs. Cooper?
>> Liz: No.
>> George: Hey, what are you doing?
Teaching Katie to tell time?
[ Laughter ]
>> George: Now Liz, you put on that dress and get
on downstairs; that's an order.
>> Liz: Oh?
Now is the time Katie.
>> Katie: George I don't have to take that kind
of talk from you anymore.
>> Liz: Neither do I.
>> George: What?
>> Liz: Apparently you haven't heard,
that Congress is passing a law giving women equal rights
with men.
>> Katie: Yeah.
>> Liz: Katie.
>> George: Women's rights.
Is that up again?
Well forget it.
>> Liz: Oh no.
The 22nd Amendment will go through even if we have
to fight it to the finish.
And we will.
>> Katie: Yeah, put up your dukes.
>> Liz: Now Katie.
Don't get carried away.
I'll handle this.
>> George: You better go downstairs now Katie.
>> Katie: As an employee, yes sir.
As a women -
[ Laughter ]
>> George: Now get dressed Liz.
>> Liz: Yes Master.
You better enjoy your power while you've got it Mr. Man.
It won't be long now.
>> George: Oh it won't?
>> Liz: No sir.
Once Congress passes that law,
I will no longer be an enslaved woman.
I'll be a free man.
[ Laughter ]
>> George: Well that will be interesting.
Maybe you and I can go out one night
and pick up a couple of girls.
[ Laughter ]
>> Liz: Very funny.
Zip my dress please.
George, did you know that in some states there are jobs I
can't hold because I'm a woman?
>> George: No.
[ Zipper ]
What for instance?
>> Liz: Well in some states I could work in a factory.
In others, I couldn't work in a bowling alley.
And right here, in our own state,
I couldn't even shine shoes.
>> George: Shameful.
[ Laughter ]
>> Liz: It's true.
Wait a minute.
I want to read you something in this magazine.
Here it is.
In this time the women of the world stop being shackled.
Arise in a search of self to the ringing of the liberty bell,
ringing out for women's freedom.
[ Bell ringing ]
>> Liz: There it is to arms, to arms.
[ Laughter ]
>> George: Liz, that's the doorbell.
>> Liz: Oh.
[ Laughter and applause ]
>> Kris: You've been listening
to My Favorite Husband starting Megan Katzman as Lucille Ball
as Liz Cooper and Emmanuel Newsome
as Richard Denning as George Cooper.
Based on characters created by Isabelle Scott Rourke.
Say Ethan, if all women became free men,
there wouldn't be any women left.
>> Ethan: Women left, I - I thought it was women's rights?
>> Kris: Now don't you start with that left
and right stuff again, chowderhead.
>> Ethan: Before we go down that road, let's leave our listeners
in the hands of our special sponsor.
The aptly named My Husband's Favorite.
The latest scented perfume by She Knows Best.
[ Music ]
>> Birdie: You who, Mrs. Brandy I got your message girly.
Now what's this calamity you were raving on about and why
on earth are you drinking wine before dinner?
>> Mrs. Brandy: Oh Birdie,
I think my husband is cheating on me.
>> Birdie: Heavens, now what makes you think that?
>> Mrs. Brandy: Every night he comes home
from work and I can smell her.
The ditzy broad who works the front desk
and her Dollar Express perfume.
>> Birdie: Oh my, you think he's seeing her?
>> Mrs. Brandy: I don't know what to think.
>> Birdie: Well girly, as hard as it may be.
You have to go what your gut is telling you.
>> Mrs. Brandy: How dare you.
I don't have a gut.
>> Birdie: Of course, right.
Sorry. Are you sure it's that girl?
The receptionist?
>> Mrs. Brandy: Oh I'm sure.
I've met that trollop once or twice.
The scantily clad little bimbo with room temperature IQ.
And that cheap perfume she was wearing.
He wouldn't have hired her if it wasn't for some of her,
let's just say job unrelated attributes.
I gave that man everything, and now he's off floundering
with a floozy half his age and half my weight.
You know, I never go to the beach because I can't swim yet.
Here I am, drowning in a sea of sorrow of wine
from the Dollar Express.
>> Birdie: Oh come here sweetie.
>> Mrs Brandy: He's almost home.
What am I going to do?
>> Birdie: You confront him girly, that's what.
>> Mrs. Brandy: You know what?
You're right.
But - but what if I'm wrong?
>> Birdie: Have your womanly instincts ever failed
you before?
>> Mrs. Brandy: Do kids count?
>> Birdie: Look Lady,
if you think your husband is a dog, then get him to bark.
You give him the business.
You smelled that perfume.
He can't skittle his way out of that.
>> Mrs. Brandy: You know what?
You are right.
I know the scent of a woman; I am one.
>> Birdie: That's right girly.
You tell him that.
>> Mrs. Brandy: I won't let him get away with putting his pants
on some clearance rack hussy.
>> Birdie: No ma'am.
Come on, let's practice.
I'll be him and you be you.
>> Mrs. Brandy: All right.
Here we go.
>> Birdie:
[ Clears throat ]
Knock, knock.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Birdie, he doesn't knock.
He has a key.
>> Birdie: Right, sorry.
Okay. Oh, honey I'm home.
Well hello there pumpkin.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Don't you pumpkin me Mister.
I know the scent of a hussy; I am one.
Wait, this isn't going to work.
I'm just so hot and bothered by all of this.
>> Birdie: All right, listen.
I'm going to give you some
of the best advice I've ever received.
You should try this new perfume called My Husband's Favorite
by She Knows Best.
Ever since I started wearing it, the old hog I married comes home
on time with eyes just for me.
>> Mrs. Brandy: It really works?
>> Birdie: Does it ever?
The only smell he brings home now is the bacon.
The kind he earns and the kind his mama gave him.
He doesn't share with anyone else.
Now I rest easy knowing I'm my husband's favorite.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Well golly, I'm going to have
to buy myself some of that.
[ Door closing ]
Jeepers, he's here.
What do I do?
>> Mr. Brandy: Sweet pea, I'm home.
>> Birdie: Here let me give you a spritz
of My Husband's Favorite.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Quickly.
[ Spritz Spritz ]
>> Mr. Brandy: Hello?
[ Magical twinkling ]
>> Birdie: Here.
Now you let it work its magic girly.
>> Mr. Brandy: Huh, well evening ladies.
I thought I heard some voices.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Hello sweetheart.
Good day at work?
>> Mr. Brandy: Good as any.
I'm actually just stopping by to change.
I have to go to a - meeting, a - work meeting tonight, downtown.
>> Birdie: Is that so?
>> Mrs. Brandy: Sh.
Is that so?
[ Music ]
>> Mr. Brandy: Yes it is.
I uh, I - I think I'm going to cancel that meeting.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Really?
>> Mr. Brandy: Yes.
There's just somewhere else I'd rather be.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Oh.
>> Mr. Brandy: Something else I'd rather do.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Mr. Brandy.
>> Mr. Brandy: Someone else I'd rather do it with.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Birdie, honey,
I think it's time for you to scram.
>> Birdie: Just thank me later.
>> Mrs. Brandy: Say Mister, what's got you all lovey dovey?
Canceling important work meetings and such?
>> Mr. Brandy: I don't know.
Something about you, I suppose.
>> Mrs. Brandy: What is it about me, huh?
>> Mr. Brandy: You're my favorite.
[ Music ]
>> Kris: I think some perfume
for you Ethan would do us both a favor.
>> Ethan: Speak for yourself Kris.
For those of you who remember the pandemic of 1918,
let me just tell you that wearing a face mask
around my cohost here did wonders
for my quality of life in the booth.
>> Kris: Says the man with enough gas
to cook a Christmas turkey in a Wedgwood.
>> Ethan: My friend, you've been blessed with a face for radio
and a voice for telegraph.
>> Kris: What say we move on?
>> Ethan: Let's.
>> Kris: All you folks in the second story and above,
please be courteous to your fellow listeners below
as you prance and jive every which way onto our next act.
Pat Aranda and his big band.
[ Music ]
[ Big Band Music ]
[ Applause ]
>> Kris: Mr. Aranda sure can conduct, Ethan.
Maybe he could teach you something about conduct.
>> Ethan: Perhaps you could learn a thing or two
about hosting from the last open door at the A & W.
>> Kris: Just do the Sinatra intro.
>> Ethan: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest today.
Fresh out of the Copacabana.
Hit it Blue Eyes.
[ Music ]
>> Women: Oh Frankie.
[ Women fainting ]
[ Applause ]
[ Music ]
>> Frank Sinatra: Fly me to the moon We can play among the stars
And let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.
In other words, hold my hand In other words, baby, kiss me
Fill my heart with song
and we can sing forevermore You are all I hope for,
all I long for and adore In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
[ Instrumental Bridge ]
Fill my heart with song
and we can sing forevermore You are all I hope for,
all I long for and adore In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words, in other words I love you
>> Oh Frankie.
[ Applause ]
>> Kris: You know.
I've seen Frank live many times.
>> Ethan: Is that so?
How many?
>> Kris: Six times.
>> Ethan: I've seen him way more than that.
>> Kris: Really?
>> Ethan: Sure, in magazines, billboards,
even on television that one time.
>> Kris: I've just about had it with you today Ethan.
>> Ethan: Well hey, if you're looking
for something worth seeing, stay tuned for the Entz's family,
featuring the talents of Cecil and Company.
Right after a word from our special musical sponsor,
the Cigar-ette's who are here to tell you about Cigaresque,
the cigarette for ladies.
[ Applause ]
[ Music ]
>> Dr. Snacoyle: Salutations.
>> Cigar-Ette #1: We're your favorite shin cracking trio.
>> Cigar-Ette #2 : The Cigar-ette's.
>> Cigar-Ette #3: Here to tell you about Cigaresque,
the cigarette for ladies.
>> Cigar-Ette #1: Now with the patented once, twice,
thrice filter that doctors recommend.
For three times the purity.
>> Cigar-Ette #2: So you get none
of the risk and all the risquÈ..
>> Cigar-Ette #3: That's why Cigaresque is lipstick's
best friend.
>> Cigar-Ette #1: We're not just blowing smoke here honey's.
Take it from our well paid team
of America's top formally licensed doctors.
>> Dr. Snacoyle: Hi, I'm alleged Dr. Stephen Snacoyle.
I have to say "alleged" for legal reasons.
But don't worry, I earned my PhD in Medical Science from -
[ Fuzzy audio ]
And was honored with the 1946 Real Doctor
of the Year Award from -
[ Fuzzy audio ]
Did you know in a study conducted somewhere
at some time four out of five doctors agreed
that smoking cigarettes is bad for you.
Well I'm the fifth doctor and I disagree.
But the medical community keeps stifling my research.
In my studies every woman who smoked a pack
of Cigaresque got horribly sick with life altering damage
to their lungs and mental faculties.
Because they are being covertly poisoned by those
who want to squash the facts.
What are they trying to hide?
>> Cigar-Ette #2: Sounds like Tom foolery to me.
>> Dr. Snacoyle: Just like how inhaling car exhaust can give
your body horse power.
Inhaling Cigaresque smoke will give you human power.
>> Cigar-Ette #3: Tell me about it.
My Pilates instructor wants me to feel the burn.
And boy do I feel it every time I take a breath.
>> Cigar-Ette #1: I had a pack today already.
Now I can't remember how I got here.
That's one less thing to worry about.
>> Cigar-Ette #2: Thanks to Cigaresque and once, twice,
thrice filter I'll never breathe easier again.
>> Cigar-Ette #3: Hit it Maestro.
[ Music ]
>> Cigar-Ettes: Once, You try Cigaresque, you'll see.
It's twice as nice as the rest, indeed.
Thrice a day my doctor recommends for me.
A puff or two from us to you will make you feel like a lady!
[ Vaudeville Music ]
[ Upbeat Vaudeville Music ]
[ Vaudeville Music ]
[ Applause and Music ]
>> Kris: Ladies and gentlemen it seems my cohost is cowering
in fear under the desk.
>> Ethan: I am not cowering.
I merely dropped my Cracker Jacks.
>> Kris: My fellow programmer has assumed a fetal position.
And could it be because our hour of twilight is nearly in tow?
>> Ethan: I am not in fetal position.
>> Kris: Folks the element of fear is upon us.
Not all are strong enough to bear witness
as my friend here can attest.
But you, dear listener must endure.
This is the inner sanctum.
[ Spooky organ music ]
[ Door squeaking ]
>> Martin: I should have never told her.
That thing - that invisible being urged me
to kill her and I almost did.
That thing.
Is there such a thing or am I mad?
I swear I saw him touch that newspaper.
[ Newspaper rusteling ]
Here, what's this?
>> Radio Voice: Rio de Janeiro March 5.
An epidemic of madness similar to the contagious madness
which attack Europe in the Middle Ages is
at this moment raging in the Province of Sãoo Paulo, Brazil.
The terrified inhabitants are leaving their homes saying
that they're pursued, possessed,
dominated by these invisible beings.
These creatures, a species of vampire feed
on their blood while they are asleep.
>> Martin: My - my dream.
That's what always happened in my dream.
>> Radio Voice: Victims say
that these invisible creatures have been known to drink milk.
Public health authorities are investigating.
>> Martin: Then it is real.
Others have fallen under its spell just as I have.
Madness they call it.
If only they knew.
Or, or could it be?
There's a way to test the reality of this thing now.
And I'll make the test tonight.
[ Spooky organ music ]
>> Raymond: A test, tonight.
It will be a test tonight at the end of our program,
if any of you have your wits about you then.
>> Mary: There's not much time left
for Mr. Carrolly, is there Mr. Raymond?
>> Raymond: Not much time at all Mary.
And you know what they say?
Time wounds, all heals.
>> Mary: Heaven's.
Seriously I do have something to say
about a time table Mr. Raymond.
I'm thinking of Lipton's Tea.
You know, Lipton's Tea such a handy beverage.
It takes so little time to prepare,
and it's always so welcome.
Yes, it's famous brisk flavor which makes it enjoyable.
Not just at meal times,
but in between meals whenever folks drop in.
That's why it's a good idea to buy Lipton in a larger,
more economical size packages.
That's right, the larger packages are much thriftier,
so you see it's wise to keep on hand a really good supply
of brisk-flavored Lipton's tea.
>> Raymond: How true.
And it will come in handy to warm up the chills you get
from these inner sanctum mysteries.
And brother you're going to shiver plenty as we return
to Bradley Petroski as Martin Carrolly as our story continues.
[ Spooky organ music ]
[ Door squeaking ]
[ Clock chiming, Whistling ]
>> Martin: Three o'clock.
The door is locked.
I left the window open.
And how that wind howls tonight.
And there's a glass of milk right here on the table.
Well, we shall see.
I dread going to sleep.
But I must.
He - it's - whatever it's name is usually comes
to me when I sleep.
There now, I must close my eyes.
That's better.
Yes. Much better.
I wonder -
[ Whistling ]
>> Raymond: I can feel him now.
Close to me.
He's come.
He - he's come again.
>> Horla: Again.
>> Martin: Can you hear me?
>> Horla: Me?
>> Martin: Why do you echo my words?
>> Horla: Words.
>> Martin: Why do you torment me?
Why don't you ever let me sleep?
>> Horla: Sleep.
>> Martin: Or am I sleeping now?
Am I dreaming this whole thing?
Did I - I must wake up.
Did I - I must open my eyes.
I must -
[ Glass breaking ]
>> Where - where's the lights?
[ Lamp switch ]
There now.
We will see.
Oh, the glass it's gone.
I - I heard a crash.
I must have knocked it over.
Yes, there it is on the floor.
Broken into 100 pieces.
And oh, oh merciful Heaven, the glass was empty when it fell.
[ Spooky organ music ]
There's not a single drop on the table or on the floor.
There's no doubt about it now.
I must find a way to destroy this thing.
I must kill it before - he's still near.
>> Horla: Near.
>> Martin: So, you've come back again.
>> Horla: Again.
>> Martin: I've never heard your voice before while I was awake.
>> Horla: Awake.
>> Martin: Who are you?
>> Horla: You.
>> Martin: Tell me your name?
What is your name?
>> Horla: Horla.
>> Martin: Horla.
Horla. So you do understand when I speak to you?
>> Horla: Yes.
>> Martin: Why have you never spoken to me before?
>> Horla: I did not choose to.
>> Martin: What do you want with me?
>> Horla: I thought you knew.
>> Martin: No.
I imagined all sorts of things, but I never knew.
What do you want with me?
>> Horla: If I tell you, you'll resist.
And it will only be worse if you resist.
>> Martin: What do you mean?
>> Horla: Don't you understand?
Don't be a fool.
>> Martin: No.
>> Horla: I'll tell you this.
To resist me is impossible.
I will come to you when you are asleep, when you are helpless.
After each visit you will grow more and more under my power
until finally you are my complete slave
to do with as I will.
>> Martin: Your slave?
>> Horla: Yes.
>> Martin: Where are you now?
>> Horla: Sitting here in the chair near your bed.
Waiting for you to fall asleep again.
>> Martin: I will not go to sleep.
>> Horla: You must sleep sometime.
That is the great weakness of the race of humans.
I will sit here and wait.
>> Martin: I will remain awake until you leave.
>> Horla: You are a fool.
I could force you to sleep if I choose.
Force you to wake if I choose.
>> Martin: Well why don't you?
>> Horla: It would be too much of a struggle now.
You would fight against me.
I prefer to wait until you are completely under my control,
then I can command you with ease.
>> Martin: And when will that be?
>> Horla: Tomorrow.
After you wake from sleep.
>> Martin: So, I only have one more night?
>> Horla: Yes.
Only one more.
I tested my strength with you this evening,
and almost succeeded with what I desired.
I'll only need one more night.
>> Martin: I'll never go to sleep again as long as I live.
>> Horla: We shall see.
I have great patience.
[ Match strike , Match strike, Match lights ]
What are you doing?
>> Martin: I'm going to light a cigarette.
>> Horla: Put that match down.
>> Martin: The match?
Why?
>> Horla: Put it down, I said.
>> Martin: No.
No - no - I lit it.
>> Horla: Put it out.
>> Martin: So, you can feel fear.
You're afraid of the flames.
>> Horla: Stand back.
Don't come near me.
>> Martin: I found your weakness now.
You fear flame, fire.
Now we shall see who is the stronger.
>> Horla: Don't come near me.
>> Martin: These curtains.
I put a match to them and they go up in flames.
[ Flames crackling ]
Ha, see? You see the fire.
You cannot escape through the window now.
And the door?
It's locked.
I - I have you trapped you hear, trapped.
>> Horla: You cannot destroy me.
>> Martin: Then why are you afraid?
Why?
>> Horla: Let me out I say.
[ Paper catching fire ]
>> Martin: No.
See, see I - I lit this newspaper.
Now I have a torch, a weapon against you,
who has so much power but fears the flames.
>> Horla: Don't.
Don't touch the sheets.
>> Martin: You.
You somewhere in this room.
You, I cannot see.
You. Who would attack men in their sleep and command them
to do your horrible bidding.
You - you are the living spirit of evil.
You seek to have men destroy each other
so that you can inhabit the earthy.
>> Horla: Let me out.
Let me out I say.
>> Martin: Out.
How many men and centuries gone
by must have pleaded for mercy from you.
Do you think I'll even show the slightest mercy now?
The long journey from Brazil where I first found you,
will end in this very room.
You who would destroy
and replace man shall be destroyed here.
[ Door slam ]
Here.
[ Spooky organ music ]
>> Kris: I would like our listeners to know
that what preceded in the previous program
in no way reflects my fortitude in the face of danger.
I had merely dropped my Cracker Jacks,
you see while searching for a prize.
I had to go under my desk to pick them all up.
>> Ethan: We've all been there Kris.
>> Kris: Indeed.
>> Ethan: And we've all had a wonderful time
with tonight's episode of The Golden Age of Radio.
Especially my co-host and friend here Mr. Kris Kash.
>> Kris: My hair is grayer and my feelings are a bit hurt.
These are just some of the things I go
through to deliver good entertainment
to the fine folks of America.
>> Ethan: We would like to thank our sponsors and of course,
all of you our faithful listeners.
Don't forget to tune in next week for more laughs,
tears and product placements.
>> Kris: From Chaffee College in sunny Cucamonga,
California to you it's the Golden Age of radio.
>> Ethan: Farewell -
>> Kris: And goodnight.
That's the end, right?
That's all we had left.
>> Ethan: That's right.
[ Music ]